The Mental Load of Working Mothers

May 14

Let’s be honest: being a working mom can feel like you're running twelve tabs in your brain all the time—and they’re all playing different music.

From remembering the pediatrician appointment to prepping for that meeting at work, ordering more laundry detergent, checking in on your partner, keeping an eye on your child’s emotional well-being, and responding to that school email (did you RSVP for the field trip yet?)—your mind is never quiet.

If this sounds familiar, you’re probably carrying what’s known as the mental load of motherhood. And if it feels heavy? That’s because it is.

As a therapist in Anaheim, CA who specializes in helping working moms manage overwhelm, I want you to know: You’re not imagining it. And you’re definitely not failing. This invisible weight you’re carrying is real—and you deserve support.

What Is the Mental Load?

The mental load refers to the often-invisible work involved in managing a household and family life. It’s the planning, organizing, remembering, and anticipating that tends to fall disproportionately on women—especially mothers.

And while your partner may share the physical tasks (like doing the dishes or picking up the kids), it’s often moms who are doing the mental juggling:

Noticing what needs to be done
Delegating tasks
Tracking what’s finished
Following up when it’s not

This constant background noise creates an exhausting kind of cognitive overload. It’s not just about doing things—it’s about being responsible for thinking about them, all the time.

Why Working Moms Feel It the Most

If you’re a working mom, you’re likely managing two full-time jobs: your career and your family. And even if you love both roles, switching between them all day (and sometimes simultaneously) can leave you emotionally fried.

Many of the working moms I work with in therapy say things like:

“I feel like I can’t shut my brain off.”
“No one else seems to see what I see.”
“I’m always the default parent, even when I’m at work.”
“I’m so tired, but I don’t even know how to rest.”

Sound familiar?

You’re not lazy. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just carrying a mental load that’s heavier than anyone was meant to handle alone.

Signs You’re Experiencing Mental Load Overwhelm

If you're unsure whether you're dealing with mental overload, here are some common signs:

Chronic fatigue, even after sleep
Trouble focusing or making decisions
Irritability or emotional outbursts
Feeling resentful or unappreciated
Anxiety or low-level dread
Guilt for not “doing enough”

These symptoms aren’t personality flaws—they’re signals. Your mind and body are asking for help.

How Therapy Can Help Working Moms Find Balance

As a therapist in Anaheim who specializes in supporting overwhelmed working moms, I help women untangle their mental load, set healthier boundaries, and reconnect with themselves.

Here’s how therapy can help:

1. Naming What You’re Carrying

Sometimes just naming the invisible load you’re holding can be incredibly validating. Therapy gives you space to unpack your stress without judgment.

2. Learning to Set Boundaries

Saying “no” doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you a wise one. We’ll work together on practical boundary-setting strategies that don’t feel scary or selfish.

3. Delegating Without the Guilt

You shouldn’t have to manage everything alone. Therapy can help you shift from “doing it all” to sharing the load—without feeling like you’re dropping the ball.

4. Reconnecting With Yourself

You’re more than just a mom and a professional. Therapy gives you space to remember you—your needs, dreams, and identity beyond your to-do list.

5. Creating a Life That Feels Balanced

Balance doesn’t mean doing everything. It means doing what matters most—and learning to let go of the rest. You don’t have to earn rest. You deserve it.

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You’re Not Alone—And You Don’t Have to Carry This Alone

If you're a working mom feeling overwhelmed by the mental load of motherhood, I see you. I know how exhausting it is to keep all the balls in the air while wondering if you're dropping the most important one.

The good news? You don’t have to keep doing it all by yourself.

In my Anaheim therapy practice, I help working moms find relief from overwhelm, reclaim their energy, and create lives that actually feel manageable—and meaningful. Therapy isn’t about fixing you. It’s about supporting you, so you can support everyone else without losing yourself in the process.